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How to ask for advice as a founder

I constantly meet other founders to share stories, challenges, and advice. When asked, I share frameworks that helped me in similar situations. I add a caveat: take only what fits. Every startup is different, and only the founder has enough context to make the right call.

Over time, I’ve noticed big differences in how founders ask for advice.

Find below three common mistakes I have seen. The common denominator is abdication: not knowing the key underlying problem and owning the agenda.

(1) Error: Take advise at face value and implement everything they suggest.
Advice often sounds right, especially when it comes from senior leaders or celebrity operators. But context matters, and advisors are rarely as deep in the specific situation as the founder.
Instead, treat advice as one input among many. Challenge it, adapt it, and keep only what fits. Your job isn’t to follow advice. It’s to translate it into the right decision for your company.

(2) Error: Failing to frame the underlying problem
This usually manifests as generic, high-level questions or a long information dump. It’s often a sign that the problem isn’t clear yet. The result is that the advisor spends the call decoding the problem instead of helping to solve it. Or you often get generic answers, not actionables.
Instead, before the call, write down the problem concisely. Strip it to the essentials and ask one specific question.  If you can’t frame the question concisely, you likely haven’t identified the real problem yet.

(3) Error: Asking for advice when you want something else
Often, founders don’t actually look for advice. They want permission, validation, confirmation biases, introductions disguised as advice, or even therapy. None of these is wrong, but they do create confusion and waste time if the other person is trying to guess what you need. Instead, be explicit. Saying, “I mainly want to share where things are at and get your perspective,” is completely fine with the right person. 


Below are some of the best practices that worked well for me. The common denominator is ownership and finding actionable items. Turn the conversation into a decision-making tool, not a high-level chat or a passive download of opinions.

(1) Own the agenda and the flow
The goal of the call is to have a clear problem statement and a handful of high-impact actions. You need to lead to achieve this. Don’t abandon it just because the other person is senior or notable. Don’t get intimidated. At the same time, leave room for detours.

A small note on the structure of the call. Don’t forget the last step of the “sandwich” when closing a call (warm connection → core topic → warm connection). It matters. Interestingly, in China, conversations often start right at the core topic and warm up gradually. Then ending with a strong personal connection if the exchange goes well.

(2) Ask specific questions (or explicitly ask for help framing them)
Strong advice starts with strong problem framing. Before you speak to someone, reduce the situation to its essence and drive toward specific actions and takeaways. It’s also perfectly fine to say: “I don’t think I’ve identified the real problem yet—can you help me diagnose it or suggest a framework?”

(3) Ask for frameworks, not answers
There’s a common concept that good founders ask what to do; great founders ask how to think. For example: “Which VP of Sales would you pick between these two?” vs. “What framework do you use to evaluate a VP of Sales?” But not every conversation needs to become a framework exercise. Specific questions are also great, as long as the problem is clear and you can leave with actionable steps.

(4) Adapt advice to your context
As noted earlier, your job isn’t to follow advice; it’s to convert it into the right decision for your company. The hard part is filtering, adapting, and then prioritizing.
Remember the one-thing rule. In startups, the Pareto principle isn’t 80/20. It can feel like 99/1: a handful of actions drive most outcomes.

Ultimately, when you ask for advice, the worst outcome is leaving the conversation without a clear problem or actionable next steps. A medium outcome is spending the entire time to finally uncover the real issue. The best outcome is showing up with a well-defined problem, then focusing only on the solutions.

Two final notes.

After the call, build the relationship. Go beyond a simple thank-you note. Maintain and extend the relationship if the advisor is relevant to your specific case. I like to update the advisor on our progress. Show that their input mattered and was acted upon. Make them feel part of the plan and the team, not just a one-off touchpoint.

Choose the right advisors. Founders today are overwhelmed by experts and coaches, and the “you must have a mentor” mantra feels obligatory. It’s time-consuming and often leads to individually valid but conflicting advice. My approach is to skip generic mentors, except in rare cases. Instead, build a small bench of domain experts. Choose them for their outlier spike. They don’t need to be senior. Often, the best advisors operate deeply in a narrow domain or function.

Hope this helps. Now let’s get back to talking to users and shipping code.